Tag Archive: Relationship


What Makes Us Jealous?

Filed Under: Fear
Aug.29, 2010

Jealousy is not a simple emotion. It is complex and difficult to define and understand. There are various reasons why we feel jealous. It is a human emotion and just normal that we sometimes feel it. But sometimes, it gets out of control. Once you begin to understand jealousy, it becomes easier to control.

Jealousy does not come out of thin air. You might think that you have valid reasons for being jealous but there might be a deeper cause for the problem. They have root causes and you need to know these in order to better understand why you are feeling jealous. The biggest part of the problem may be within you. These are the possible reasons and causes of jealousy:

* Self-confidence – The lack of self-confidence is often the main cause behind jealousy. If you have self-confidence, jealousy tends to take a back seat or at least become minimal and controlled.

* Self-esteem – This goes hand in hand with self-confidence. Having a poor self-image or low self-esteem is a big reason for jealousy. If you think you are fat or not fit to be with your partner, you tend to feel jealous when you and your partner are around people you think are better looking than you.

* Fear – There is always the niggling fear of rejection, of being alone, or of losing your partner. This is common, but fear should not overtake your positive emotions like trust, love, and security.

* Insecurity – If you have a poor self-image and lack self-confidence, the result is the feeling of insecurity. This might be the most obvious reason that you are feeling jealous.

If you are feeling jealous, the first thing you need to do is to acknowledge it and admit to yourself that what you are feeling is jealousy. Then ask yourself where it is coming from. Are you afraid of losing your partner? Or do you think you are not fit to be with him or her? Once you figure it out, ask yourself again why you are feeling insecure, or why you are feeling afraid. Then think of ways on how you can overcome this or control your emotions. Try to think of positive things and let positive emotions rule you instead of jealousy. This way, you might enhance your self-esteem and at the same time, improve your personal relationships.

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Learning About Forgiveness

Filed Under: Anxiety
Jul.13, 2010

So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness happens when you let go of your anger, your negative thoughts as well as resentments towards someone who has done you wrong. When you forgive a person, you willingly decide to move forward and you see that person’s actions in a much broader context, rather than letting the actions define that individual.

Forgiveness is pretty much an internal process that does not require both parties to be involved with. You have to choice to either forgive somebody, or let it be. They don’t have to have the same mutual feeling, and it isn’t a two-way street.

Safety First Always

Sometimes, you might decide not to forgive a person in order to try and avoid meeting that person face-to-face. Meeting them in this manner could be hurtful and it is crucial that you protect yourself first.

Sometimes reconciliation might not be advisable. A good example of this is when someone is involved in some sort of domestic violence and he or she can’t seem to let go of feeling anger as well as vengeance towards the offending partner in the relationship. The only time you would want to forgive that person would be when he decides to make a change for the better and promises were demonstrates that he will no longer repeat the same hurtful actions ever again.

If you have been badly hurt and you’re still really upset about your current situation, get help. You can always find somebody they can help you sort out your feelings and to help you vent your frustrations. A good ear will help you decide whether or not you want to reconcile as well as forgive the person who has hurt you.

Is there something you’ve learned about yourself that you can take from this experience? Always try to learn from your mistakes and better yourself. Do you need to be more careful and not trust others quite so easily perhaps? Or maybe you just need to work on having clear boundaries and rebuilding your self-esteem.

Another way to relieve the tension and to know the way any anxiety as well as anger, is meditation. Meditation also promotes calmness as well as compassion, and there are many good books out there which delves into deeper details regarding this.

Finally, it always helps to find an experienced teacher who offer you support with any hurtful feelings that might crop up on you.

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3 Vital Steps To Help Relief Sudden Stress

Filed Under: Anxiety
Jun.22, 2010

Stress along other parts in our life may usually be under control. Yet there are unforeseen abrupt events that might radically shake our world. In such times even the smallest and simplest things are at risk of being exaggerated to monstrous proportions and might drown us in stress. Still keeping track of basic steps will make a big difference.

The two most common causes are injury and loss. With loss, even if it is sudden and unexpected, after a period of grief and mourning we usually moves on with life. With injury, on the other hand, it might take longer, involve more obstacles and have long term implications that might shake most, if not all, areas of our lives.

When people are hit by unexpected injury there is very little that can be done in advance to prepare dealing with it. Sure, we can use the insurance payment (if we ever had that), but there is still much to do with the hurt body and mind. In such account stress will rise for the injured person as well as for the whole supporting family around him. Such an incident can change life for everyone involved.

We usually see the real nature of friend when they are really needed and it is very comforting to know we have someone to lean on. Still, the emotional, financial and time management weight on the other party can contribute for arising stress.

Well, the first thing is to make sure you keep your thoughts in order. Realistically look at how the event will affect you, and what can be done to lessen this effect. You may observe more alternative paths that minimize the impact of the incident as you proactively ask for them.

A second vital objective should be to be aware of other people’s needs around you, too. Isn’t it nice to know that you are not alone? By bearing in mind that one’s injury affects all people around him may open him to a more considerate and kind behavior. Contributing to a mutual understanding starts on our own behalf. By the time you’ll decide on doing that, you’ll notice how you’re already less stressed.

Now, while physical healing is the end goal, remember to separate that from melancholy. May be you’ll be upset by the unexpected stress, but people find it easier to recover if worrying about how things are done, during the recovery period, is disregarded. One of the things you’re really going to love about putting aside worrying as an important factor in recovery process is the regaining feeling of self-power and self-control. You can give yourself the chance to make it work on your own pace. Can’t you?

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8 Relationships Stress Relief Tips

Filed Under: Anxiety
Jun.20, 2010

Stress – it affects us all. We cannot escape it, but we can minimize it. In a busy, stressful world, let’s review eight top ways to lessen stress from impacting our lives.

1. Leave work stress at the workplace. Separating between sources of stress will help handling it altogether. Once you finish your work day and close the door behind we can put our stress aside. After all, letting go of it for a while will give us more energy to manage it even better later.

2 – Open communication and honesty are keys to a solid relationship. Keep stress at bay by avoiding misunderstandings and trying to be considerate. You might have had a hard day but don’t stop that from appreciating that others may have had a hard day too.

3 – Keep balance between life essentials. Increasing chaos by imbalance is the last thing anyone needs. Excess consumption of alcohol, overspending or even pursue after attention can lead to emotional stress. Keep everything in balance.

4 – Focus on creating quality time. Share walks and light conversations. Find time to exercise meaningful common activities. Quality bonding time that can be achieved by big and small actions alike reduce stress easily.

5 – Kindness can get us very far. Talking as well as listening to partners and other family members about stresses and concerns is a must. Having an open two way communication channel should be practiced daily. Insisting on getting your own way all the time is a recipe for stress.

6 – Open up for making more mutual decisions. Taking decisions on your own just elevate stress. Making decisions together leads to a better relationship environment gives the other party a sense of appreciation, and even can provide you with critical information you would not otherwise have for a better decision making.

7 – Share successes, and be prepared to share failures. Be prepared to encourage partners or family members to take opportunities that might worry them; be equally prepared to be a shoulder to cry on should those opportunities fail.

8 – Enjoy very moment in life. Being distracted and preoccupied doing another thing will not give you the ability to be present and enjoy the time with your family. Making money for the future is important as long as it doesn’t come as a substitute for present relationships.

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How To Create A Safe Haven From Emotional Stress

Filed Under: Anxiety
Jun.18, 2010

While being considered by some people as a little thing, letting go of emotional stress can help make a difference. After all if it really was such a small matter, wouldn’t it make more sense to completely release it?

The first step toward stress relief is to identify and classify what stresses exist that are emotional and what we can and can’t alter. What stresses are being imposed on us emotionally by the acts of others, such as partners or family members and what we are generating – and potentially imposing on others – ourselves.

There are many versions of emotional stress. It can manifest by thinking how we are perceived by others. It can be by worrying about our appearance or about the quality of the relations we have with our partner. Accommodating to other people expectations in our busy life can also play an important role in our stress levels.

Ultimately, arguments lead to further emotional stress as we can become resentful or experience guilty feelings for causing the arguments; and the worst case scenario for emotional stress is the breakup of a marriage and the resulting stresses of the divorce procedure – custody battles, money woes and bitterness to someone who we once dearly loved.

We do not need to wait until it is too late to practice counter stress methods. After all, the most important thing in relationships, while harmony last or after breaking up is to have a clear and respectful contact. Following the ‘Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself’ rule, minimizes the possibility that misunderstandings and vice intentions will result in explosive emotional harassments, as well as promote love, friendship and peace.

A big relief can be achieved by understanding deeply the other party’s point of view. You can even check what results you get with your emotional stress when you search for the common ground focus on what is the most important thing for you or yet by coming clean on your own mistakes. Many conflicts go to an emotional downhill by hanging to past events, attaching to wrong priorities and serving one’s greed.

A trusted and close partner can ease up life. Seeking a consolidative and supportive friend is not only a human natural drive but also can provide us with a safe haven from our flurry emotions in life’s turmoil. Little gestures of clear and honest communication can go a long way in releasing emotional stress. And after all, we don’t usually remember what other people said but how they made us feel. Don’t we?

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