Tag Archive: psychologist


Conquer Self Defeating Behaviour

To conquer self defeating behaviour we need some form of order or path to follow. The A’s are a good way of centering the behaviour and our thinking.

Acceptance

The more we deny or repress our affliction the worse it becomes, the more we try and run away from it the worse it gets.

Acceptance does not mean we agree or even like condone our affiliction, but we do ourselves a favour by stopping wishing things were different .

The more we do not want to have the affliction the more it sticks and the worse it becomes. By not accepting our affliction we make our mindset worse.

So it helps to slow the mind down by accepting the affliction, start to see the affliction as a challenge and not as a halt to the quality of our life.

Attitude

A negative attitude will keep us in a negative mode, as mentioned start to see that affliction as a challenge and not as some monster that beats you every time.

The SAS – Special air service Motto is “Who Dares Wins” we have to dare in order to face our affliction. We have to learn to muster up courage, remember courage is not about being fearless, but more about going into a situation with the mouth dry, the hands shaking and the heart beating like hell, but still doing it. So attitude is important, a sense of “This is not going to beat me”. Regardless of our situation, whether that be, being dumped, panic attacks, shyness, it is the negative attitude that keeps us from having a good quality of life.

See your affliction as a challenge.

Action

If we think the same, react the same, want the same, expect the same, act the same, do the same, need the same , think the same, say the same, then we will FEEL the SAME!

We need action in order to transcend our problems – The simple answer is to practice opposites.

How do we practice opposites? By learning to undo the self defeating behaviour. The word is “Learning”. We should try to see our affliction as a challenge and learn to over come it a day at a time. There is no rush, easy does it.

Action starts when we open our eyes in the morning, our attitude and action will decide what sort of day we have.

It is better to move forward an inch than to stay stagnant – So do what you can today to face your affliction.

Awareness

Become aware that courage is not something outside of ourselves, but an attitude.

Become aware that you have to practice opposites in order to beat the affliction. In short if you do the opposite of yourself defeating behaviour patterns, then you will recover.

Application

Apply your plan or action to your daily routine. Do not just read something and think that is a good idea! Apply and action.

Think about keywords that will spur you on such as C.H.A.N.G.E. – G.N.A.T. – S.T.I.N.G.O. – B.E.E. – W.A.S.P. – F.L.Y. – A.N.T.

Avoidance

The more you avoid the places or the reality of your situation, the more you will stay the same. We have to nuture courage to face our problems or to accept being dumped or such like.

An Agoraphobic will not get over Agoraphobia by staying indoors, someone who has been dumped in a relationship will not get over it by staying indoors and diving into self pity or disbelief. We have to face reality and that is either by action or by accepting the situation, remember the opposite of acceptance is a ’spin dryer mind’!

So a lot of a little instead of little of a lot when it comes to recovery, face it an inch at a time, do it slowly and not in a hurried manner.

Allow

Allow yourself not to be perfect

Allow yourself to make mistakes

Allow yourself not to know all the answers

Allow yourself to have quality time

Allow yourself to give yourself compliments

Allow yourself to recover (You are worth it)

Allow other people to be what they are (If your happiness depends on what other people say or do you are going to be miserable for the rest of your life) Let them be as they are for your sanity.

Allow yourself to be angry at times (Do not let it go into full blown resentment)

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Anxiety- Way To Cope With It

Panic attacks can be an incredibly devastating thing. It can affect your entire life and comes at the most inconvenient times. It can happen without any warning and cause you to feel sick, scared, overwhelmed among many other emotions. Some people feel so overwhelmed by the panic attacks that they feel that they end up being nervous to leave the house and unable to function for fear that it will sneak up on them again when they do not expected.

Since we understand all the aspects of an anxiety issue, we want to take a few moments to help you deal with it. We also understand a panic attack can occur at any times, which is why we would like to go over that as well. One thing you need to know right away is medications and doctor’s offices are, from my own opinion, not the proper regimen. While they do know about anxiety, they are trained a certain way and your regimens are predictable. Take some medicine, get some rest, and call me in a few weeks. Unfortunately they fail to mention the side effects along the way.

There are tons methods of dealing with anxiety that are completely safe, very effective and can give you the relief that is needed. These methods are free and require no visit to the doctor or cause to worry about side effects, in fact they can have a positive effect on other aspects of your life when used.

The best thing a person can do to feel better when enduring anxiety is by changing their lifestyle and diet. Look at your life as a whole and find out what is important, what you plan to do, and whether or not the situation is positive or negative. In fact, make sure it’s necessary.

Changing your diet and exercise habits can make a difference in the stress that you feel and how you deal with it. Cutting down on things like alcohol, caffeine and other mood altering substances can make a difference in how you react to situations of stress and how you cope with life in general. Exercise can be a good outlet for nervous energy, help focus your mind and help you feel relax so that you sleep better, eat better and concentrate more easily on tasks through out the day.

Exercise also releases endorphins that help to elevate your mood and can create a sense of well being even when everything around you is chaotic for the remaining of the day. It can boost your self confidence and give you a chance to take time out from stressful situations.

A great exercise regimen to try is yoga. If an individual is stressed out or has anxiety issues, this can be extremely beneficial. There are many self-help books available that promote the use of yoga and meditation, to help those with anxiety issues.

The benefits behind self-help books are those peoples have dealt with the same issues you are going through right now. They tried the doctor, tried the ER, took x-rays, and basically did everything they were told with no good results. Getting an inside look at how someone else conquered it is important. This alone could spark good things around the corner.

Sometimes the best thing that you can do when feeling anxious is to divert yourself. Thinking about the problem can increase feelings of anxiety and make it worse. Keeping busy can help you to overcome such feelings and provide you with some comfort.

One thing you will notice while doing this is you will be capable to accomplish goals faster, and give yourself a sense of accomplishment. It doesn’t have to be anything big, just something to work towards and see you really show progress with your anxiety. It will also replace your panic attack tendencies with feelings of self esteem, satisfaction, and happiness.

So maybe this weekend you will take the time to clean out your closet. Then again, you may want to catch up with some friends you have not seen for long time due to the anxiety, or worried feeling of a panic attack. In the end, if you can set and reach your goals, it can help you gain the skills to conquer issues in the future.

Another method to sidetrack yourself from feelings of anxiety is to distract your mind with music. Whether it is uplifting or just your favorite radio stations top ten count down. You can change your mood and overcome feelings of anxiety by listening to music.

Most importantly, do something you love or wanted to do and never had the chance. A great example of this is playing an instrument. Many musicians will tell you that when times are difficult to deal with they just go somewhere and play. However, if you don’t want to do this, then make it worth with your favorite hobby.

Having power over your anxiety and removing those panic attacks is your overall goal. All you need is coming across the right methods to do it. However, we highly recommend taking the natural way and stay away from the medications. Ultimately it can actually damage your battle against anxiety.

Learn about anxiety and panic attacks. Find out about how to deal with it effectively. Get educated and help yourself find a solution the good solution to cure panic disorder.